THE LOVE I WANT

For me, mediocre love is not an option. I need to feel it in every bone and every nerve of my body. Love that makes you combust into flames and float along the waves – both at the same time. Love, that is passionate, messy, imperfect. Where two souls unravel into each other, their darkness mingling into one ; their sins embraced with sinful arms & yet, their hearts held gently, as the most precious drops of the sky.

Perfect, shiny, spotless love is not for me either. I want my insanity embraced with as much excitement and readiness as I intend to ignite to breathe-in their darkness. I don’t want to be ‘fixed’ nor do I want to be ‘completed’ – same as I do not offer being a ‘lost & found’ part of them.

I wish to see our broken, jagged pieces meshing together – not fitting perfectly, yet almost there. Our edges creating fires that are too calm to be deadly yet too much to ignore.

Comfort and understanding can be found in places you never expect them to be. They will be found in love, too. But a love that consumes you, that doesn’t try to change you and yet ends up altering the strongest forces in your world – tilting it’s axis just enough, that you know, your world shifted, and everything remained same! I believe such love exists – and I believe, such love is worth hoping for.

I want it to be messy, imperfect, passionate and real. I expect it to drown me in it – so that I am surrounded entirely- submerged, without losing my power to breathe.

Many women want a prince or a knight-in-shining-armour to come and complete their perfect love story. I hope for a mere mortal, strong enough to be vulnerable with me. I hope for a love that stays by me while we figure out this puzzle called life, and lets me hold its hand all the while, in sickness or in health . In darkness, in madness, in hell.

All or nothing. Yes this is the Love I want.

NIGERIA AT IT’S PEAK

Its a land filled with green pastures.

My country is blessed and endowed with great opportunities, it represents nature and stands for fertility. Against all odds my country has stood at it’s peak, aiming for greater heights I can sense. Even with corruption it is better than it was years ago, despite grudges it has proved to be accommodating in all dealings. The nature of my country is to be reproductive, self dependent, optimistic, forgiving but never forsaking.

I am opportuned to be a citizen of a great country. Despite all flaws and against all odds, my country is still a great one. My country may not be technologically built, Rome wasn’t built in a day I would say, we would get there. My country is a GREAT ONE I’m proud to say, free from earthquakes I’m proud, agriculturally endowed I’m proud, even with corruption it’s developing, yes it is!

My country is United with faith, co -ordinates it’s citizens with peace, which leads to it’s progress. My country is God’s own, filled with beauty, illuminating sunshine and hospitality. It’s a promise Land and a home for all. My nation is the Pearl of tourism, Glory of all lands, home of peace, an incredible food basket to other nations. My country is a paradise with a big heart, filled with salt and a rhythmic heartbeat. It serves as a fountain of knowledge, blessed with coal. It’s a jewel in the Savannah, a new world, amazing centre of learning, profit making centre of commerce. My country is a home of hospitality, a land of equity, filled with confluence, it’s a land of harmony filled with excellence and blessed with solid minerals and power. It’s a gateway to all nations, brightened with sunshine, it’s a living spring, a pace setter, landmark of peace occupied with treasures, proudly called a treasure base. It serves as a seat to the caliphates, the home of agricultural products. In my country we say The Young Shall Grow!

My country has never denied me nor forsake me and one day I believe I would grab a handful of it’s soil, raise my hands in the air, smile and say Yes I said it! This nation is a great one and on it’s soil I MADE IT!

NIGERIA IS MY COUNTRY AND I AM PROUD OF EVERY LETTER.

NIGERIA IS A GREAT NATION WITH GREAT PEOPLE.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE NIGERIA AND NIGERIANS

WHO IS SHE?

Optimistic, reserved, beautiful, clever, energetic, well behaved, elegant, and hard-working are qualities embedded in her. While battling with the day to day struggles, love found her or probably she fell in love.

He was a stranger,came in as a friend, calls to check up on me, cruise town with me, showed kind gestures, took care of needs that choked me, always around to comfort me during my trying times, gave me a shoulder to lean on whenever i needed one, changed my entire world and i was genuinely happy. Always looking forward to another moment with him, i felt safe with him and he made me believe love was all i needed, he pampered me, my life was full of fantasy and i enjoyed every minute. I poured out my whole self to him, i found love indeed!

Here comes the day i had long awaited, the day i have always dreamt of, on this day he welcomed me legally into his life and home. Late in the night after the whole partying and celebration, the newly wedded couple on the soft bouncing bed, he stared uncontrollably at me, grazed in between my hair over a million times, kissed me affectionately, there was a spark of love in the air, behold i fell into a deep sleep in his arms. WOW, A NEW WORLD IT IS!!

Several months later, i felt totally different, weak, and pale. Am i expecting a baby? Oh yes it true! The doctor confirmed it, it was indeed a great news to hear. Sure we were excited and looked forward to welcome the new member of the family.

Out of the blue, everything changed, i never saw this coming. I was no longer perfect for him, no longer beautiful to him, he emphasized daily that I was full of flaws and lazy, nothing i do seems good, too outspoken for him, not worthy to be called his own wife, What! At this time?

I found it hard to cope with the new change, not at this time i thought, this was the love of my life, my whole world, this was one part of my life i couldn’t get rid of, someone i can’t imagine my tomorrow without. Just a little mistake emerged into an unsolvable issue, boom! I was out of the house. Now it dawned on me that i am all alone, i felt betrayed, abandoned, neglected and at the same time frustrated. Was this what years and months of loyalty resulted to? Was this what i deserved? It completely shattered and changed me not leaving behind my thinking. Memories hunted me every night and day giving me sleepless nights, brought down my health condition.

I was in severe pain, my inside was tearing apart, almost every vein in my body was visible, yet no stream of tears, my eyes were completely red and i could feel my head spinning. The day my baby would arrive is here. The love of my life, father of my unborn child was nowhere to be found, i needed him the most at this time. Wow love hurts you the most when you least expect it. Yeah it does, unexpected things tend to shatter you the more even if might later make you stronger.

His duplicate was right beside me, and he wasn’t here to see how beautiful and charming his little lookalike was. I started to imagine how drastically my life would change, i wasn’t alone anymore, I have a liability now, I have to be a mother, at the same time a father, a cook, cleaner, counselor, singer, teacher, motivational speaker and a doctor to my child.

The journey became more tougher than i expected, sleepless nights filled with thoughts, I totally forgot how to love the way i was taught. No need to be reminded because all i love now is the image of myself embedded in another creature. He never came back, he had abandoned and forgotten me and his child, we went back to being strangers. But what went wrong? What happened to that love that once blossomed? What happened to those promises of I would spend eternity with you? What happened to the talks of we would raise our kid together, teach him how to love and be good to others? Damn! The kid is right here and he isn’t. What exactly changed? No answers. Probably it was a bed of lies i lied on.

WHO IS SHE?

MY STRENGTH, MY WEAKNESS.

In my hearts is a heavy burden, one which I can’t lift all by myself, a burden that weighs me down, hurts me each and every moment, but still increases my self confidence just so I can be better.

In the journey of our lives we pass through different phases, come across different people, face so many challenges which all contribute to who we are today. We love, we smile, we cry, we laugh, we become happy, we get angry, most importantly WE FEEL, and that’s exactly what makes us human. Being human, you have your strength and weakness, two vital things that defines who you are. Here I’m not talking about physical strength, I’m insinuating that inner strength that drives you to exceed limits, heights you never thought you could attain, neither am I pointing at your physical weakness, I mean that weakness that makes you totally vulnerable. Our moral values, etiquettes and character are all embedded in both our strength and weakness.

The people you choose to love or despise can either be your strength or your weakness. “Your strength can be your source of motivation, your weakness can be your source of inspiration, both becomes your driving force.” Strength, weakness, feelings, motivation, inspiration, driving force, all are inter-connected, the connection between these are what makes you.

We force, we fight,we strive just to become a better version of ourselves in all ramifications, physically, spiritually, intellectually, financially. Most people dream about holding this high social status, living a comfortable and worry free life. Here they claim to have no weakness, just strength and when that weakness finally show itself in them and makes them suceptible to defeat, they blame others for their own mistakes. The thing is there is no strength without weakness, and vice versa. If you have a source of strength, then you definitely have a source of weakness. There is no you without strength and weakness, and there is no better version of you without these two.

Even when your weakness makes you fall, your strength should make you rise on your feet, and sometimes your weakness can also become your greatest source of strength. I’ve heard people say, I’m strong, I have no weakness, I laugh at their stupidity if only they know what is embedded in those words. It’s not about your strength, it’s about who you truly are.

PEOPLE WHO LOVE DEEPLY

Let me tell you about people who love deeply:

They are wells of feeling. Storms of hope and heart that never know when to stop the downpour. People who love deeply are both soft and strong, they are whirlwinds of rarity that will only ever know how to empty themselves out for the people they love. People who love deeply do not know how to turn their hearts off, do not know how to stop giving, and though this is the most beautiful aspect of who they are, it is also the most fatal, for people who love deeply also hurt deeply.

See, people who love deeply always lock the hurricane that is their soul into the wrong ribcages. They spill out into the bones of people who were only ever hoping to be a temporary home for their warmth, they deplete all of their emotion just trying to fill the hollowness in those who do not appreciate it.

When it comes to people who love deeply, the ones they choose can’t quite understand just how someone could pour themselves out for another person and ask for nothing in return. However, they do not set them free. They continue to take. They continue to accept a love they know they could never possibly mirror. They allow for the warmth of this human being to make them feel new again, and when they are done with the keeping of a rare and beautiful thing, only then, do they discard it. Only them do they tell it that it is no longer needed.

But people who love deeply have a hard time being set free. Not because they are weak, not because it is in their nature to beg for the admiration of others, no. People who love deeply have a hard time leaving because they can never quite convince themselves that they need to walk away from someone they know they can help. They will never stop trying to love someone into their potential, will never stop falling for the echo of ‘what if’ in another human being.

And this is where people who love deeply hurt the most. In the small ache that forms in their chest, the unfinished business that creates caverns of confusion in their minds. They wonder if they were good enough, and the thought of someone leaving when they still had so much left to give, haunts them for the rest of their lives. They never forget. People who love deeply never forget — they are tattooed with the goodbyes of everyone they never got the chance to shine for. Even if the love was wrong, to someone who loves deeply, no amount of loving is a waste, no amount of taking is too much. They live to give.

That is where you come in. Let me tell you about people who love deeply — they are human beings that don’t quite make sense to most. They are the few genuine souls who give and do not need to be filled in return. They are resources of boundless feeling, but that does not mean you get to take advantage of that. No, if you do not respect that, if you do not know when to stop taking, and when to start loving them despite their inability to ask for that love, do not touch them. Do not taste them. Do not drink from the well of their hope. Do not be selfish with their heart. Do not ruin them like the others.

                                                   
       GOLDEN STAR.

We need to learn more lessons

Life has so many different ways of teaching us the lessons we need to learn. Most times, the lessons life has to teach us are not taught in a simple way. Some can come in form of hardship or trial and we take it for something else and don’t end up learning the lessons we should from the situation, We overlook things and take them for granted. Often we don’t do and see things the way we should claiming it was never meant to be that way.

Life is simple and complicated at the same time, it just depends on the perspective that we see it from. Accepting what life has to offer and the lessons embedded in it is a big decision to make I would say because you would have to accept whatever it throws at you or work against it. This solely depends on how you choose to live life itself.

As simple as how life presents itself to be, when it turns around and twist itself, one would feel as if it has reborn itself. For me I would say, I don’t trust life anyway, because it could turn it’s back at you at anytime. Just as the earth rotates, life could be on your side now and drift away from you the next minute. You never can tell what would happen next. LIFE IS MYSTERY ITSELF. Just learn your lessons and move on.